Saturday, February 23, 2008

The Weekly Rewind

It’s Saturday. This is The Weekly Rewind. ‘Nuff said.

Applaud: to the resignation of Cuban “President” Fidel Castro. (While I am somewhat surprised that we have not heard about his death, I still think that announcement is coming sooner rather than later, so stay tuned)

Heckle: to Ralph Nader. Can you PLEASE STFU and get off the stage… no one wants to buy what you’re peddling…

Applaud: to the ever-falling approval ratings. The results of a new American Research Group poll show Bush with an approval rating of 19%... meaning that 77% disapprove of his peformance… (after a while one has to wonder just how much lower he can get?? Anyone want the odds on getting to 15 or below?)

Heckle: to U.S. Attorney Christopher Christie and former AG John Ashcroft for not having the decency to testify in front of a House Judiciary subcommittee next week. The hearing relates to a lucrative federal monitoring contact that Christie gave to Ashcroft. Because they have no gumption, the hearing has been postponed until next month.

Applaud: to more and more Americans waking up to the truths about the US economy. A new Reuters/Zogby poll shows that 54% of Americans expect a recession within the next year, which is up from 45% last month and includes 41% of republicans. And if that isn’t delicious enough, a scant 36% of republicans believe the country is headed in the right direction. (Sometimes the snark is in the news itself, and nothing I could say would add to it…)
Heckle: to neoconservative Iraq war architect Richard Perle. In a recently published article, Perle claims that the Iraq war is “far from over” but later claims that “we have already won in Iraq” because “Saddam will not be sharing WMD with anyone.” Missing from this line of thinking, of course, is that Saddam never had any WMD to share… but who’s keeping track?

Applaud: to the conservative Washington Times (did I just write that?) Earlier this week they published a story stating that “intelligence scholars and analysts outside the government say that today’s expiration of certain temporary domestic wiretapping laws will have little effect on national security, despite warnings to the contrary by the White House and Capitol Hill Republican leaders.” One scholar said “there’s no reason to think” America is “in any more danger” than it has been after 9/11. (Well duhhhhhhhhhhh. If you really think that we’re in more danger because that bill wasn’t passed, you definitely need to stop drinking the kool-aid…)
Heckle: to Sunflower Electric for trying to bribe the state of Kansas by offering millions to Kansas State University for energy research… but only if the legislature approves its bid for new coal plants first. You see, the Kansas Department of Health and the Environment denied air quality permits for two coal-burning power generators near Holcomb back in October, and ever since the industry has been fighting back, buying ads that compared Kansas Gov. Kathleen Sebelius to Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Vladimir Putin, and Hugo Chavez… that didn’t work so now they’re going a different route – bribes. Let’s hope the Kansas state legislature has enough common sense to not fall for this…

Applaud: to the news this week that federal agents are investigating whether former Sen. Trent Lott (r-MS) “knowingly played a role in an alleged conspiracy in 2006 to influence a Mississippi judge presiding over a multimillion-dollar lawsuit.” The lawsuit, it should be noted, was against his brother-in-law. Scruggs was indicted for bribing the judge this past November… (and I’m sure Lott is clean as a whistle… and if you believe that I have a bridge to sell you in Afghanistan…)
Heckle: to things starting to get out of hand regarding candidate’s spouses. Whether it’s Ms. Obama or Ms. McCain or Ms. Huckabee or President Clinton. Last weekend, Janet Huckabee had a room booked at the MGM Grand hotel in Las Vegas to root for fellow Arkansan and friend Jermain Taylor. At the last minute plans changed and she ended up staying at the Hooters Casino Hotel… and some people have a problem with that. (to those people I say; STFU and get a friggin’ life… staying at any particular hotel is not necessarily a reflection on a person so shut it!)

Applaud: to Air Force Col. Morris Davis. The Colonel resigned his position as chief prosecutor for Guantánamo Bay’s military commissions earlier this week after being placed under the command of William Haynes, a well-documented torture advocate. As a result of a conversation he had with Haynes back in 2005, Davis said that he doesn’t believe “the men at Guantánamo could receive a fair trial” so he resigned. Applaud within applaud for the fact that Col. Davis has also agreed to appear at a hearing for a Gitmo defendant, calling it “an opportunity to tell the truth.” (Way to represent Colonel… thank you)
Heckle: to “President” Bush… sure, it’s usually just on general principles alone, but this past week he was on the Today Show and denied that the there’s any link between the faltering U.S. economy and $10 billion a month being spent on the Iraq war. In fact, according to Bush, the war is actually helping the economy and the reason the economy is going into the toilet is “because we built too many houses and the economy’s adjusting.” (Nothing like over-simplifying things… but, nothing says ‘simplistic’ quite like “President” Bush)

Applaud: to Army Chief of Staff Gen. George Casey. AP reports that Casey is saying “soldiers heading to war this summer are likely to see their tours shortened from 15 months to 12 months” despite Defense Secretary Robert Gates and Gen. David Petraeus both saying that they want to suspend troop cuts after July so they could better assess security gains in the country. (Despite the administration’s contradictions to the contrary, Casey has always been looking out for his soldiers… and now the odds of troop cuts looks as though it will boil down to a pissing contest between Casey, Gates and Petraeus… perhaps we should send some beer to General Casey so he has plenty of ammo…)
Heckle: to the dangerous state of our military… and before you trolls start screaming hyperbole, keep in mind that a recent survey conducted by Foreign Policy magazine and the Center for a New American Security polled former military officers, and nine of 10 say the war had stretched the military “dangerously thin” while 60% said that the military is weaker today than it was five years ago… (and why did we invade Iraq? To protect America? Are we still protected?)

Applaud: to Brent Wilkes’ sentencing of 12 years in federal prison for heaping “money, prostitutes and other bribes in exchange for nearly $90 million in work from the Pentagon” to disgraced former Rep. Duke Cunningham (r-CA)…
Heckle: to talking out of one’s ass…which seems to be an administration trait. Earlier this week, Reuel Marc Gerecht, a fellow at the neoconservative American Enterprise Institute, told the NY Times that he supports talking to the Iranian regime, but only as a way of establishing a pretext for American military action… so chat them up, buy them a drink, and then screw them with their pants on… nice….

Applaud: to Fox “News” legal analyst Andrew Napolitano. He penned an LA Times op-ed earlier this week in which he argued that the Protect America Act is unconstitutional, saying; “The government should be required, as it was until FISA, to obtain a 4th Amendment warrant to conduct surveillance of anyone, American or not, in the U.S. or not.” (Surprising to hear that coming from someone who works at Fox “News”… what’s not surprising is the fact that Fox hasn’t had him on the air much since the piece was published. Though I’m sure that’s pure coincidence…)
Heckle: to political favors. Back in October 2006, “President” Bush authorized the construction of a 700-mile Berlin Wall border fence between the US and Mexico. Not much has been done until recently when surveyors were, well, surveying land where the fence was to be built. A few landowners turned the surveyors away, which led the Bush(whacked) Administration to take a hard-line stance with these landowners by sending warning letters to 135 private landowners, municipalities, universities, public utility companies and conservation societies along the border that had turned away surveyors, giving them 30 days to change their minds or face legal action. More than 100 of them allowed the deadline to pass, and now U.S. attorneys, acting on behalf of the Homeland Security Department, are filing lawsuits against the holdouts over the past several weeks, but in the small town of Granjeno, the border fence “abruptly ends” at the property owned by Dallas billionaire Ray L. Hunt… who happens to be a gop contributor, a George W. Bush contributor, and a HUGE contributor to the planned George W. Bush library… but I’m sure that has absolutely nothing to do with anything. It’s so hard to express sarcasm in the written form…)

Applaud: to Rep. Rick Renzi’s (r-AZ) indictment for extortion, wire fraud and money laundering… and the republicans continue to fall…Heckle: to fearmongering. Last night, conservative putz pundit Glenn Beck fumed about the House leadership’s decision to let the Protect America Act (PAA) expire. Beck said that the act was “an extension requested by the president” before jumping onto the fearmongering bandwagon and claiming that the House leadership, specifically Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA, would be responsible for the death of Americans. Said Beck; “He feels — and I happen to agree with him — that this congressional game-playing by Nancy Pelosi will end up killing Americans.” (Dumbass…. All this does is play into people’s fears and causes anxiety and anger… give it a rest already will ya?)

Applaud: to the Senate’s plans of calling to vote on a cloture motion on Sen. Russ Feingold’s (D-WI) bill to “set a timeline for withdrawing combat troops” from Iraq… the Senate is also planning to take up a second Feingold bill that would require the Bush(whacked) Administration to develop strategies to “limit repeated deployments of troops and defeat al-Qaeda… though I’ll believe it when I see it…

And this week our conservative tool of the week needs no introduction as it’s a favorite of us at TBWA... Fox “News”, who had a poll earlier this week that asked Americans which presidential candidate they believe is the favorite of al Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden… and, keeping in mind the demographic for Fox “News”, the poll found that the terrorists prefer Democrats… more people think bin Laden wants Obama to win (30%) than Clinton (22 percent) or McCain (10%)… though 18% showed a slight using of their own brains as they say it doesn’t matter to bin Laden with another 20% are unsure… (What, in God’s name, was the point of this poll? I know Fox is a bastion of right-wing nuttiness… but COME. ON. This is sad and pathetic, even for them… and that’s why they’re our TOTW…)

All I have, take ‘em as you wil…

1 comment:

IludiumPhosdex said...

I suppose this might be seen as "too local," but may I submit for your consideration something worth heckling over from up Minnesota way....