Saturday, August 09, 2008

The Weekly Rewind

So addicting you can't live without it... it's TBWA's Weekly Rewind. Let's get to it...

Applaud: to PROOF that Sen. McCain just doesn’t get it… appearing at the Sturgis (SD) motorcycle rally this week, McCain chatted to some in attendance that he might urge his wife Cindy to enter the Miss Buffalo Chip contest… apparently someone forgot to tell him (or they told him and he promptly forgot) that the contest is a topless, most of the times bottomless beauty pageant where the contestants simulate fellatio and “banana coddling.” (In McCain’s defense, he could have thought they said ‘simulate gelato’ and thought he might get a chance to eat dinner REALLY early…)

Applaud: to EVEN MORE PROOF that McCain’s campaign doesn’t have any idea how to make a political message. Here’s the most current message of the McCain campaign from campaign manager Rick “DHL Loves Me” Davis; “Only celebrities like Barack Obama go to the gym three times a day, demand ‘MET-RX chocolate roasted-peanut protein bars and bottles of a hard-to-find organic brew—Black Forest Berry Honest Tea’ and worry about the price of arugula.” (Wow… this must have had the Obama campaign reeling… how will they ever recover from this dastardly attack?)

Applaud: to YET EVEN MORE PROOF that McCain and his campaign doesn’t know what the hell they’re doing. During a speech in Florida McCain claimed that he fought for the recognition of Martin Luther King day… apparently McCain doesn’t know that people can fact check what he says and find that, via ABC News; “In Arizona, a bill to recognize a holiday honoring MLK failed in the legislature, so then-Gov. Bruce Babbitt, a Democrat, declared one through executive order. In January 1987, the first act of Arizona’s new governor, Republican Evan Mecham, was to rescind the executive order by his predecessor to create an MLK holiday. Arizona’s stance became a national controversy. McCain backed the decision at the time.” They could then check his facts further and find that in 1983, McCain voted against a motion to suspend the rules and pass a bill to designate the third Monday of every January as a federal holiday in honor of the late civil rights leader, the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.” (Dumb. Ass. Who’s in charge of this campaign, Mark Penn???)

Heckle: to ominous occurrences. After Georgian troops launched a major military offensive this past Friday to regain control over the breakaway province of South Ossetia, Russian troops and tanks moved in… this should end well…

Applaud: to the news that, supposedly according to NBC News, the U.S. and Iraq are “close” to agreeing to a deal that would signal all American combat troops would leave Iraq by October 2010… (I’ll believe when I see it… hell, knowing this administration I may not even believe it then… stay tuned)

Heckle: to more flip-flopping from the man who is making it an art form. Earlier this week McCain attacked Obama about this tire gauge theory… now he’s “appeared to back down.” In a telephone townhall meeting earlier this week (can it really be called a townhall meeting if it’s over the telephone?) McCain told voters in Pennsylvania; “Obama said a couple of days ago says we all should inflate our tires. I don’t disagree with that. The American Automobile Association strongly recommends it.” (Well duhhhhhh… that’s what people have been trying to tell you and your moronic surrogates… it does work. Maybe next time you should check things out before attacking… just a thought)

Applaud: to ignoring of a memo. This past week marked the seven year anniversary of “President” Bush’s reception of a ‘President’s Daily Brief’ entitled “Bin Laden Determined to Strike in U.S.” The morning he received it, Bush was vacationing at his ranch in Crawford (of course he was) and he, along with EVERY OTHER PERSON in his administration ignored the memo… wonder how things would be different had they acted on it…

Heckle: to the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services. Per the GAO, they’re putting “millions of Medicare dollars at risk” by allowing and even authorizing fabricated sellers of wheelchairs, prosthetics and other medical supplies to submit reimbursement claims with limited reviews of the claims… even though the group has been promising since “at least 2005” to fix the problems… (Why should this surprise us? Every governmental department, agency, group under this administration has shown their disdain of the rules and promises. Like everything else, the next president –regardless of whom it is – has a LONG road ahead of him to fix everything this administration’s fucked up…)

Applaud: to delicious irony. McCain was talking about a looming loss of jobs in Ohio this past week and was not clued into the fact that it was partially due to his campaign manager. Well, the media finally got wind that McCain isn’t perfect (that or it was denture cream) and started asking him about the fact that this campaign manager was partially behind the loss… (Once again it seems as if McCain has no idea who is working for his campaign. Shouldn’t someone have connected the dots to Rick Davis and DHL? If his campaign is run like this, what the hell would his administration look like?)

Heckle: to understating the obvious. The White House grossly underestimated (or grossly under-announced) the budget deficit for FY 2008 being $389 billion…however, a new CBO report puts it at nearly $490 billion. (regardless of who is right, they’re both WAY too high and are BOTH close to the record-breaking number of 2004… not surprisingly also under “President” Bush… the next president is going to have one helluva job awaiting him…)

Applaud: to Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice. During an interview with Politico, Ms. Rice said that America could be safe under an Obama administration and empathized with his stand on the surge… (Ouch. This isn’t the first time that Rice has suggested she might favor Obama over McCain, but when a republican says that the Democratic candidate could keep the country safe while at the same time empathizing where he stood about her boss’ much-ballyhooed surge, you know your candidate may not be the best choice…)

Heckle: to “President” Bush for, once again, saying things that may smart and logical people’s heads hurt. Reacting to the Justice Department’s report on his administration’s illegal hirings, Bush said: “I had a lot of hires in this administration, a lot of parts of it. … I’ve read the critique. I’ve listened very seriously to what they said. And other than that, I have no comment.” (Huh?

Applaud: to Sen. Obama for turning the tables on a heckler. Before Obama had a chance to launch into his speech about his energy policies earlier this week, John Quinn shouted “Hey, you didn't start this rally with the Pledge of Allegiance, that proves you hate America.” Rather than have the man dragged out of the hall (which, is this were Bush or Cheney would have been immediately followed by a new arrival at Guantanamo) Obama obliged the man and led the audience in the Pledge. (The argument ‘you didn’t recite the pledge so you hate America’ is about as vapid as “President” Bush… who, it should be known, has RARELY started any of his speeches with the Pledge. Perhaps Mr. Quinn should get a life and/or STFU)

Heckle: to grossly overstepping one’s bounds. The department of Health and Human Services has proposed a new rule that would allow doctors to refuse to perform abortions. (Um… how exactly does this fall under HHS’ responsibilities is anyone’s guess. But if it happens, expect a HUGE backlash…)

Applaud: to the media for finally(!) waking up. One of McCain’s home-state newspapers in Arizona is taking him to task for reneging on his promise to run a “respectful, civil” campaign… (good job guys, keep it up. McCain’s pledge was about as empty as his tech knowledge…)

Heckle: to Focus on the Family for asking Christians everywhere to pray for rain on the day that Sen. Obama gives his acceptance speech… (are you kidding me? Way to stay classy guys… tools)

Applaud: to the McCain campaign being proven wrongagain. First they blew a passing comment by Obama out of proportion while at the same time saying it wouldn’t work. Second, they were shown they were in fact idiots because experts agreed that it DOES actually work. Third, they mocked Obama for saying it and then in the next sentence say that the idea actually works. (Every time McCain is wrong, a Democratic delegate gets their vote…)

Heckle: to inane irony. Congressional republicans have been labeling the Democratic-led Congress as a “do-nothing Congress”… this past week they’ve shown the lengths they’ll go to get what they want by showing themselves to be a honest to goodness ‘do-nothing Congress’ by threatening to shut down the entire federal government if they don't get their way on offshore drilling. Bonus: One of the people suggesting it is Newt Gingrich…(While I try to figure out when the hell Newt became politically relevant again… perhaps someone should show the republicans just how stupid they look. On second thought, don’t; it can only help us…)

Applaud: to intra-party issues. Six conservative senators are skipping the republican convention this year… while it’s not hard to understand why Senators Ted “Indicted is my middle name” Stevens, Larry “Wide Stance” Craig and Wayne “no nickname available at press-time” Allard won’t be appearing, it’s more of a puzzle as to why Sens. Elizabeth Dole and Susan Collins of Maine won’t be coming. After all, I’m sure it has nothing to do with the two of them facing tough re-election campaigns and not wanting to appear with a severely damaged brand… (it’s so hard to express sarcasm in the written form…)

Heckle: to news that should make everyone say; “Oh shit.” CBS News reported earlier this week that due to growing anxiety about Iran’s nuclear ambitions, “Israel is building up its strike capabilities” and is confident that an attack would “cripple Tehran’s atomic program, even if it can’t destroy it.” As part of the build-up, Israel has purchased 90 F-16I fighter planes that can carry enough fuel to reach Iran, and will receive 11 more by the end of next year.” (This should end well…)

Applaud: to polling data that brings a smile to my face. A new Time magazine poll shows a mere 21% of Americans approve of Bush’s handling the economy with 29% approving of his job as President… a CBS news poll released this past week gives Bush a scant 25% approval rating… (I’m going to ignore what the hell these people are smoking and bask in some of the lowest approval ratings for a president in a RELLY long time…)

Heckle: to Iraqi lawmakers for adjourning earlier this week without agreeing on a provincial election law… about as do-nothing as our last two Congress’ have been. I guess they are emulating us after all...

Applaud: to Sen. Charles E. Grassley (r –IA) and Rep. Rush D. Holt (D-NJ) for calling for an investigation into the anthrax investigation. (I’m not a conspiratist, but the timing of all of this sounds rather convenient… and it’s a good idea to investigate it)

Heckle: to stupid and misguided deals. “A secret deal between Britain and the al-Mahdi militia” prevented British Forces from assisting US and Iraqi allies during the battle for Basra earlier this year with one British official saying that the deal was “intended as an IRA-style reconciliation,” that “did not work.” (Ya think? As much as you might detest this war, this is an act of cowardice that endangered the lives of US and allied forces)

Applaud: to Grover Norquist. Last week McCain said at a townhall meeting; “I want to look you in the eye: I will not raise your taxes nor support a tax increase.” Anti-tax guru Grover Norquist hit the nail on the head when he said that McCain’s “look you in the eye” declaration was “an updated version” of Bush 41’s infamous “Read my lips, no new taxes” pledge that helped sink his campaign when he ran for reelection…

Heckle: to showing their true colors. A week ago Friday the House considered a bill that would have provided much-needed funding to veterans and military organizations. Naturally House conservatives tried to kill the bill and attached an offshore oil drilling amendment to it. Chet Edwards (D-TX), Chairman of the House Appropriations Subcommittee on Military Construction and Veterans Affairs, denounced the tactic and when he read statements from veterans groups urging Congress not to meddle with the legislation, House conservatives booed… you read that right; House conservatives booed veterans… stay classy guys. You bunch of tools… BTW, the bill passed.

Applaud: to irony that is so thick even “President” Bush could see it… well, maybe not. Eight years ago this past week delivered his acceptance speech at the 2000 republican National Convention and said; “So when I put my hand on the Bible, I will swear to not only uphold the laws of our land, I will swear to uphold the honor and dignity of the office to which I have been elected, so help me God.” (Honor? Dignity? Those terms are alien to Bush and everyone else in his administration… 1/20/2009 can NOT come soon enough)

All I got, take 'em as you will...

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