Friday, November 04, 2005

Political Backpedaling: The Weekly Rewind

APPLAUD: William F. Buckley, you know him, the conservative political columnist that is just this side of the Kaiser, said that the ‘outing’ of Valerie Brown (or Valerie Plame, or Valerie Plame Brown, or Valerie P. Brown… whatever) is a serious thing. Although that could also fall into the category of a…

HECKLE: for taking this long to come to the evident, logical point many people (mostly liberal I dare say?) made months and months ago.

APPLAUD: to Patrick Fitzgerald. I think we all know why.

APPLAUD: to Harry Reid. Smack-down! Let that be fair warning to you slow-as-molasses GOP’ers: Quit stonewalling over policing your own house or next time you'll wake up laying next to Arianna Huffington… eewwww.

HECKLE: to Bill Frist. Nice tantrum Bill… really nice.

APPLAUD: The American people. A brand new CBS News poll has President Bush's approval rating at another record low of 35%...just 8 points above where Nixon was during the blackest days of Watergate. Meanwhile, Dick Cheney crawls to the finish line at 19%. (Ooooo, that’s gotta hoit)

(And before all of you say "Kemp what does one poll prove?"...well, an ABC News /Washington Post poll has almost identical results. Coincidence, I think not.....sorry to interrupt folks, Scott)

HECKLE: to “President” Bush for sidestepping questions he received in Argentina Friday morning about whether or not he needs to apologize to the American people for the roles that key members of his administration have played in the CIA Leak fiasco.

APPLAUD: to the smell of blood in the water. U.S. News & World Report tells Democrats not to jump off the cliff just yet, as there is a gleam of light at the end of the tunnel. The full article is here:

HECKLE: (and thanks to Daily Kos for this one) to the laziest Supreme Court Justice ever. On November 1, 1991, Clarence Thomas took his place as associate justice on the Supreme Court. 14 years later, the man has never asked a question from the bench. (What does he do up there all day? What does he think about… on second thought scratch that… I don’t wanna know what goes through his head)

APPLAUD: Scooter in Court. On Thursday, Dick Cheney's human shield made his first appearance in front of a federal judge. He will have to swear to tell "...the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth." Yeah, I’m sure that’ll work with HIM.

HECKLE: to ex-FEMA chief Michael Brown. Not to jump up and down on him while he’s already being ripped a new one, but, come on ‘Brownie’, you can NOT be that stupid. Well… maybe you could. Making flippant remarks while people are dying… believe me when I say this is going to bite you in the end. Little thing called Karma, baby! (See Tom DeLay and his Karma-lesson below)

APPLAUD: to Bill Maher. I don’t normally like him, but sometimes, he just gets it SO right that you have to throw an applaud out there. Like this exchange between him and ‘Living Legend’ Helen Thomas on his Real Time show:

Bill Maher: Two years ago you said to the president's press secretary in the press room, "Why doesn't he just call in all his aides and ask, who leaked the [Plame] story?"
Helen Thomas: Exactly.
Maher: You didn't get an answer that day...
Thomas: It took two years... All roads led to the White House in the first place. All the president had to do is call them in and say, ‘Who did it?’ or "Whodunit?"
Maher: How come that question was never re-asked? Why didn't your colleagues---it's such a fundamental question---why didn't your colleagues...
Thomas: Too simple.
Maher: The question or your colleagues?
Priceless stuff. While Maher is not as consistently funny and dead-on as Jon Stewart, every once in a while he says something that makes you NOT ashamed of being on the same planet as he is.

HECKLE: to the ‘Clone Wars’. Did I miss something… did the country suffer a dramatic shift to the right? President Bush chooses Antonin Scalia's “Mini Me” to replace the moderate Sandra Day O’Connor. If you're not female, gay, black, a child, a helpless kitten or puppy, or believe in the radical notion of "innocent until proven guilty"...this is your wet dream.

APPLAUD: to Paul Begala. For putting the Libby indictment into the proper, don’t-hold-anything-back perspective. Complete article can be seen here but here’s a nice sampling:
“In the first year of George W. Bush's presidency, one major media figure told my wife and me to our faces that the difference between the Clinton crowd and the Bush team was that, ‘They're just better people than you are. They're more loyal to their President, more patriotic, less self-interested and ambitious. They're just better people.’ Now we learn that these Better People have turned the White House into a criminal enterprise. And that the purpose of that enterprise was to mislead the country into going to war. 2,000 Americans killed. 15,000 horribly wounded. $200 billion gone. And a Muslim world---and a non-Muslim world, for that matter---that hates our guts. Al Qaeda is recruiting terrorists faster than we can kill them. And there is no end in sight. But thank God there were no blow jobs. They really are Better People.”

(I am sure that there are plenty of BJ's going on in Washington every week ...we just haven't heard about them.....yet. The conservatives are embarrased about thier BJ's as that would upset the 18th century puritan support base also known as the stiff-assed Christian coalition. What about the liberals?, we are proud of every one we get.....sorry to interrupt again folks, Scott)

HECKLE: President Bush. As always, just on general principles alone.

APPLAUD: to Karma. Tom DeLay whines about the judge presiding over his case having donated to and requests a new judge. His request is granted. And the new judge? Also a democrat… Karma, baby!

HECKLE: to Prince Charles and ‘Lady’ Camilla. Does anyone really care?

APPLAUD: to the fact that Ken Tomlinson resigned. Who is Ken Tomlinson you ask? He's the Bush-crony who attempted to turn the Corporation for Public Broadcasting (you know: PBS) into some Fox News clone because of PBS’s ‘liberal bias’… you know those Sesame Street folks, you don’t’ join the block party they’ll come and get ya.

HECKLE: to Las Vegas Mayor Oscar Goodman for stating on television that individuals who deface freeways with graffiti should have their thumbs severed off… little excessive there, isn’t it? (Hint to Mayor Goodman; try de-caf)

APPLAUD: Let’s just say it’s an ESP-derived Applaud. Who wants to make wagers that Al Franken's book “The Truth (with jokes)” debuts at #1 on the New York Times bestseller list this weekend and Michelle Malkin's new book, “Mom! Liberals Are Being Mean to Me!!” doesn't.

APPLAUD: to Senator and Chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee Arlen Specter (R-PA) (What? TBWA applauding a Republican? Has the world gone topsy-turvy?) Why? For not kowtowing to White House pressure to hold confirmation hearings on SCOTUS nominee ‘Sc’Alito before the end of the year. “We have to do it right. We can’t do it fast,” the good Mr. Specter said in announcing that the hearings would start January 9, 2006. Way to go Senator!

… and one final APPLAUD: to the newly disclosed emails from GOP Lobbyist-in-Peril Jack Abramoff that seemingly implicate Tom DeLay in even MORE financial/money-raising wrongdoings… this just keeps getting more and more surreal.

(Quick question before we close out this week’s Rewind. Wasn’t it like a year ago this week that Bush stood in front of the American people and stated, rather smugly, that he “earned capital in the (2004) campaign, political capital, and now I intend to spend it.” And where is that capital now Mr. President? Can we, as a nation, have it back?)

(Also, be sure to catch the live debate episode of
The West Wing this Sunday on NBC with Alan Alda and Jimmy Smits. Should be interesting television.)

Does it seem like the Applauds and Heckles are evening out? Hmmmm… suppose that means the country is evening out and about to shift a little more to the left?

Only time will tell…

1 comment:

Mike said...

As a Las Vegan, I love what Mayor Goodman said. He simply said what most of us want to say, but don't have the nuts to say. Was it a smart comment? No. But then again, the guy is a former mob lawyer and says whatever is on his mind.