Sunday, July 27, 2008

The Weekly Rewind

Here it is… this week’s installment of the World Famous, Often imitated never duplicated Weekly Rewind…sit back, open your brain real wide and say; give it to me straight Kemp, I can take it!

My apologies to ‘WKRP in Cincinnati’

Applaud: to the House for acting to secure a lot of the nation’s mortgages while the administration continues to fiddle around the flames. Earlier this week the House approved a government assistance measure that will allow the Treasury Department to protect mortgage companies Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac from collapse and while also providing a plan to help hundreds of thousands of troubled borrowers avoid foreclosure by refinancing their mortgages with more affordable government-insured loans… (Glad to know someone’s got out backs…)

Heckle: to irony so deep that it’s deeper than Bush’s neurosis. In a statement about the new sanctions being levied against Zimbabwe, “President” Bush declared; “no regime should ignore the will of its own people.” (Um… who wants to tell him what Cheney said?)

Applaud: to the capture of Radovan Karadzic on war crime charges. The onetime wartime leader of Bosnian Serbs was arrested earlier this week and is being extradited to The Hague where he will stand trial by the U.N. war crimes tribunal facing 11 counts of genocide, war crimes, crimes against humanity and other atrocities committed in 1992 to 1996. (about friggin’ time…)

Heckle: to lying one’s paints off. Back in January, EPA administrator Stephen Johnson told Congress it was his decision for the EPA to block the California greenhouse emissions waiver. Well… apparently he lied (you’re shocked, I know). Earlier this week, former EPA official Jason Burnett said that Johnson concluded that “California’s request was legally justified — until White House officials ordered him to reverse the decision.” (Once again, the White House thumbs its nose at the environment while also getting involved in things they have no authority to get involved in… 1/20/09 can NOT come soon enough)

Applaud: to being smarter than our elected officials (granted, it’s not that difficult to accomplish). A new poll shows that the American public ain’t buying what “President” Bush and the oil industry are peddling… that new drilling will lower gas prices. 63% of those in the poll say increased drilling is “more likely to enrich oil companies than to lower gas prices.” Another separate Wall Street Journal/NBC poll shows that voters trust Democrats more than republicans to deal with energy; 42% to 22%...

Heckle: to news that shouldn’t really surprise us. A new Brennan Center for Justice study finds that “poorly designed ballots continue to plague U.S. elections.” Despite Congress setting aside $3 billion to overhaul voting systems, various problems have continued that have “led thousands of voters to skip over key races or make mistakes that invalidated their votes.” (But of course, why would the administration that got elected in the first place due to ballot problems be interested in solving them?)

Applaud: to a conservative speaking the truth. President George H.W. Bush’s former national security advisor Brent Scowcroft issued a warning to the current president Bush this week when he told him to stop threatening Iran. Scowcroft said that by repeatedly mentioning threats, “we legitimize the use of force…and may tempt the Israelis” to act… (too bad it will fall on deaf ears in the White House and the rest of the conservative Beltway… they’re already started working on their ‘I attacked Iran’ t-shirts…)

Heckle: to more conservative fear-mongering… with a religious slant. Earlier this week Christian broadcaster Pat Robertson criticized the Bush(whacked) Administration’s “moderate tone” toward Iran and its nuclear weapons program, even advocating Israel to look out for the “survival of its nation” and “make some kind of a strike” against Iranian nuclear facilities (Again… this should end well. Let’s remember that we have no proof – NONE WHATSOEVER – that Iran has nuclear facilities… so why are conservatives some hell-bent on attacking? Do they get off on it???)

Applaud: to news that doesn’t surprise me but still brings a smile to my face. As the 2008 campaign continues, it’s becoming more and more clear that “the absence of any “websites on the right devoted to reporting is proving politically costly to republicans.” (well, that’s what you get when your nominee barely knows how to use a computer)

Heckle: to the political equivalent of having a fox guard the hen house. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) and Minority Leader John Boehner (r-OH) announced joint appointments to a landmark ethics review board earlier this week. The board would allow private citizens to review allegations against members, which is a good thing. The bad thing is that one of the co-chairs is going to be former CIA director Porter Goss… who opposed launching the investigation into the Valerie Plame affair… (Great… groundbreaking ethics determent, but it’s going to be overseen by someone who obviously doesn’t have an ethical bone in his body)

Applaud: to continuing to say things that make you look silly and out-of-touch. We all know that in 2006 Ted Stevens (r-AK) described the internet as “a series of tubes” that “can be filled.” Well, earlier this week he was asked if he stood by that description… he said; “I do,” and then went on to say that he’s “still not sure about the difference between tubes and pipes.” (It’s the tubes and pipes line that makes it art…)

Heckle: to Attorney General Michael Mukasey. Mukasey has let stand some of the most controversial policies that he inherited from his predecessor, Alberto “Albatross” Gonzales. Senate Judiciary Committee member Arlen Specter (r-PA) said Mukasey “hasn’t provided the balance that I had hoped for.” (wow, who would have ever thought Mukasey would have continued on the path of Gonzales? Oh wait, that’s right; anyone who has the power to use their own brains!! Is Specter being naïve or using subterfuge for the White House?)

Applaud: to speaking the truth… earlier this week on The Chris Matthews Show, Newsweek columnist Howard Fineman revealed one of the reasons “President” Bush is pushing so hard for a McCain presidency, saying; “There’s also fear. If you’re in this White House, you want another Republican administration to follow. You don’t want a Democratic administration coming in there while the evidence is still fresh, so to speak.” (True that… but if public opinion gets loud enough, not even the presence of another republican in the White House could soften the calls for investigation)

Heckle: to more politicizing the safety of the American worker. Political appointees within the Department of Labor are rushing to “push through” some rules that would make it “tougher to regulate workers” on-the-job exposure to chemicals and toxins… aimed at being a parting gift from this administration… (Once again… screw the American worker and kiss the ass of Industry… I know I’ve already said this once before this week, but 1/20/2009 can NOT come soon enough…)

Applaud: to Rep. George Miller (D-CA) who pledged to introduce counter-legislation to the above bill that would block the effort of the Labor Department to make it more difficult to limit workers’ exposure to chemicals on the job. (Way to go Rep. Miller! Hope you get some more support)

Heckle: to more proof that our current president is just a Frat boy at heart… Unaware that he was being recorded at a private fundraiser last week, Bush joked that “Wall Street got drunk” and then joked about the country’s housing crisis when he said Wall Street now has “a hangover.” (Lovely… what a tool)

Applaud: to the Senate. They planned to begin debating the “Coburn Omnibus,” late last week. The set of bills have large bipartisan support but are being held up because Sen. Tom Coburn’s (r-OK) has objections… never mind that some of the measures in the bills include funding for stroke prevention legislation, lateral sclerosis legislation, the Christopher Reeve Paralysis Act, the Emmitt Till Unsolved Crimes Act, and the Mentally Ill Offender Treatment Act… but why would WE want THAT? Coburn is a putz who is running scarred in his district because his act is getting thin… this isn’t going to help and should increase Democrat’s chances of taking the seat…)

Heckle: to seeing the true seat of power in this administration. A new report shows that administration officials originally agreed that greenhouse gases could endanger the public and should be regulated under clean-air laws, but their opinions were shouted down and their course reversed after Vice President Cheney’s office and the Oil Industry voiced their opposition. Naturally, White House spokesman Tony Fratto said the “report is inaccurate to the point of being laughable.” (Uh-huh… cause it would be SOOOOO hard to believe that the office of the Vice President has all the authority in this administration. Hell, haven’t we been saying that since Bush originally got elected??)

Applaud: to McCain strategies that are SO bad they’re not only funny but can only help us in November. The latest? A McCain adviser linking en. Obama to terrorism because his daughters are fans of the keffiyeh-wearing Jonas Brothers… (Seriously? That’s the best this campaign can do now? The friggin’ Jonas Brothers?? Who’s next, Chuck Norris… oh wait)

Heckle: to questionable campaign ad strategies. In what the gop sees as a response to Obama's triumphant speech in Berlin, Germany… they’re running attack ads in Berlin, PA; Berlin, NH; and Berlin,WI... hard to believe they’re behind in the polling, ain’t it?

Applaud: to more McCain nonsense that proves he just doesn’t get it…which as I’ve said often on this blog, can only help us in November. Earlier this week McCain was talking about Afghanistan and in the process refused to call the situation there “precarious and urgent,” (even though it is) but then he admitted that “We have a lot of work to do” before warning of a “very hard struggle, particularly given the situation on the Iraq-Pakistan border.” (Wait, what? I could have SWORN that Pakistan and Iraq have this large country by the name of Iran separating them… oh wait, I was right. Can someone give Mr. McCain some glasses… or at least a Third Grade Geography book??)

Heckle: to speaking out of one’s ass… which given his age is probably muffled by a pair of Depends. Sen. McCain is crediting the sudden drop of oil to Bush’s lifting of a presidential ban on offshore drilling… (Give me a break… though one has to give him props for being able to keep a straight face while saying something so utterly ridiculous…)

Heckle: to more McCain flip-flopping. Going against one of his campaign bases, McCain has decided to chop off 99 years on his popular-only-in-conservative-circles strategy that US “troops might be in Iraq 100 years”… now he’s saying that he'll pull troops out in as little as a year but with NO timetable… (Huh? What the hell is this phobia that republicans have with timetables??)

Heckle: to inane comments that they think are intelligent. Senator Lamar Alexander (r-TN) said earlier this week that the key to lowering gas prices can be summed up in four words; “Find more, use less.” (Yes sirree… that’s some might fine people we’ve elected to run our country with some real smarts…)

Applaud: to finally getting it. Following the recent 15th anniversary of Don't Ask, Don't Tell, 75% of Americans support gays serving openly in the military

Applaud: to more McCain cluelessness (which I consider an applaud because it can only help us in November). Apparently forgetting that it was him and his gop cronies that challenged Obama to visit Iraq, McCain has been saying all this week that Obama's Iraq trip is “politically motivated.” (do you think they really don’t see this for what it is?? But as I’ve said…when he says things that either show him flip-flopping, changing course, forgetting what he said in the past or simply showing him being rather dense, it’s a good thing for us and Obama… stay tuned)

Applaud:to being coy on her choice for president. Why is this an applaud? Well, read this exchange and tell me I’m wrong…
Wolf Blitzer: “Now, you grew up in the segregated south. You know what racism is in our country. The fact that Barack Obama is now the Democratic presidential nominee, what does that say to you?”
Condi Rice: “I think it's great. And I think it's great for our country. And I do think it says that we've come a long way. But it's interesting that it's from Colin Powell. He knocked down a few barriers of his own. He knocked down the barrier of chairman of the joint chiefs of staff. He knocked down the barrier to the first black secretary of state. Yes, I've knocked down a few too. It just shows that our country has been doing this for a while and it's great that this last barrier perhaps, has also come down.”
Blitzer: “Have you decided who to vote for?”
Rice: “Wolf, yes.”
Blitzer: “Do you want to tell us?”
Rice: “No.”

And our conservative Tool of the Week…well, it was no contest really, and it should come as no surprise to any of our faithful readers that this week’s TOTW is conservative Radio Host Michael Savage. Earlier this week the schmuck said that autism is a “fraud” and “a racket” where “99% of the cases, it’s a brat who hasn’t been told to cut the act out.” Besides showing the sensitivity of a yak, he also showed a mind-bogglingly lack of education of something that inflicts millions of people across the globe… Applauds within the anointing as at least two radio stations have dropped his show due to his asinine comments. Super Talk Mississippi announced this past week that they were canceling Savage’s show and the Cleveland-area’s WHK AM/1420 broke its contract with the show this week as well, with the station manager, Mark Jaycox, saying something that instantly endears him to my heart; “This guy’s a knucklehead, and I want to get rid of him.” So with that… Savage is our Tool of the Week and Jaycox is our Smack Downer of the week…congratulations guys.

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