Back and better than ever... without further ado, here it is...
Applaud: to the fact that, over four nights, the leader of the republican party, “President” Bush, was mentioned ONCE… that’s gotta hoit… and extremely funny.
Heckle: to double standards. The McCain camp is threatening to sue the National Enquirer for running a story about Quayle Palin allegedly having an affair with her husband’s business partner. Interesting to note two things; when it was Sen. Edwards being talked about by the Enquirer, the gop was asking why the traditional media wasn’t looking into the story, but when it’s about THEM, they threaten a lawsuit. Second… they got the Edwards story right. I’m just sayin’…)
Applaud: to the ever continuing trend of Americans smartening up…a USA Today/Gallup poll shows that 64% of people polled are concerned that would “pursue policies that are too similar to what George W. Bush has pursued” with 47% being “very concerned” and 17% being “somewhat concerned.” (If people continue to come around on this, November should be a very good month for us… though I’m not counting my chickens until they’re hatched…)
Heckle: to the fact that the cost for the outfit Cindy McCain wore to the snore-a-palooza Wednesday night cost $300,000… but it’s the Obama’s that are called elitists…
Applaud: to destroying McCain/QuaylePalin campaign talking points. When she was introduced as the running mate, McCain “emphasized her role as the commander in chief of the Alaska National Guard” and “her military command experience as governor.” Well… it seems the service commander of the Alaska National Guard, Maj. Gen. Craig Campbell, has some problems with that, saying that she “has no command authority overseas or anywhere in the U.S. other than Alaska.” (Ouch…)
Heckle: to give me a break! McCain’s campaign strategist (they have one??) Steve Schmidt is accusing the media of being “on a mission to destroy” Quayle Palin by showing a “level of viciousness and scurrilousness” (don’t think that’s a word) in their ongoing questions about her personal life and the campaign feels “under siege” by the inquiries… (welcome to the big leagues, we play with real ammo here…)
Applaud: to irony… McCain has campaigned hard against Congress earmarking federal money for pet projects back home, even cataloging these “pork lists” that detail the financial favors… three times in the last few years the aforementioned catalogs of ‘objectionable’ spending have shown earmarks for a small Alaska town by the name of Wasilla,… oh, did I mention that the town’s mayor at the time was one Sarah Quayle Palin.? (Ooopsie…being vehemently against earmarks and choosing a running mate that was proficient in them; that’s irony!)
Heckle: to childish behavior… McCain adviser Karl Rove called Democratic VP Candidate Joe Biden a “big blowhard doofus” earlier this week… to which I reply; I’m rubber, you’re glue. What ever you say bounces off me and sticks to you…nyah, nyah…
Applaud: to things not working out the way the republicans planned. When McCain introduced Gov. Quayle Palin as his running mate, he pounded home her husband’s union membership, as she has done in every speech she’s given. While conservatives are hoping to God this fact helps them in states like Michigan and Ohio, the unions response to it has to give them heart palpitations. USW President Leo Gerard said just because the Governor’s husband is a union member doesn’t mean that Palin is automatically qualified to represent labor interests, saying; “It is important to realize that while the governor’s husband is a member of a union, this does not automatically qualify her for an on-the-job training program to become a heartbeat away from the presidency. And while her husband is one of 850,000 dues-paying members of the steelworkers union, it does nothing to absolve Sen. McCain of his long history of anti-union sentiment and anti-worker actions.” (Ouch… well played Mr. Gerard, very well played)
Heckle: to stupid comments that have absolutely no basis in fact… earlier this week CBS News decided to delve into “President” Bush’s legacy (such as it is) and noted that it will be defined by his misguided invasion of Iraq (ya think?)… During the report Iraq war apologist Michael O’Hanlon said that Americans should “be fair” and give Bush credit for there being no WMD’s in Iraq (I’m sorry… what? We should give him credit? For what? Getting us into an unjust war? Allowing the real people behind 9/11 get away? There aren’t any WMD’s in Iraq now because there weren’t any BEFORE this fucking war!!! Is O’Hanlon drunk or stupid?????)
Applaud: to minor differences. While gop VP candidate Quayle opposes abortion rights in all circumstances unless the life of the mother is at stake (she said in 2006 that even if her daughter were raped, she “would choose life.”) Well, her boss’ wife Cindy disagrees with that position. (Wow… a brain on the Stepford Wife… is that allowed?)
Heckle: to spouting off conservative talking points at inopportune times. Earlier this week “President” Bush was discussing Hurricane Gustav and decided then would be a good time to make his push for more offshore drilling (We understand that there are oil rigs in the Gulf… but to mention that when people are worried about their lives is both sad and pathetic… apparently Bush didn’t learn EVERYTHING after Katrina…)
Applaud: to California lawmakers that passed a bill aimed at cutting CO2 emissions. Under the bill, cities that cut their CO2 emissions will be rewarded, making it the first measure in the US aimed at linking government transportation funding with urban planning and CO2-reduction goals.” (Here’s hoping the COUNTRY gets behind this plan…)
Heckle: to a stunning lack of diversity in a national political party… during this past week’s snore-a-palooza (AKA the republican national convention), there was a scant 36 black delegates in attendance… “fewer than 2% of the total and a sharp drop-off from 2004. Compare that to the Democratic National Convention where 24.5% of delegates were black… the party of inclusion indeed.
Applaud: to more sweet irony. As Governor, Quayle Palin slashed funding for a state program that would have benefited teen mothers… sometimes the snark writes itself…
Heckle: to a campaign official for Virginia Lieutenant Governor Bill Bolling. Apparently they canceled an order for 150 entertainment in Minneapolis-St. Paul guidebooks after it was discovered that they included a 6 – 8 page section for gay and lesbian nightclubs. The aide said; “We simply can’t hand them out” (Riiiiight… because if you touch something that even mentions homosexuals, you’ll become one… ya dumbass… honestly, how do some of these people stand upright???)
Applaud: to CNN host Campbell Brown for pwning McCain aide Tucker Bounds…
Heckle: to the absolute dumbest thing said in the campaigns, and considering this is the campaign that says someone has foreign policy experience because her state was in close proximity to Russia, that’s saying A LOT. McCain campaign manager Rick Davis said earlier this week that this election is “not about the issues” but rather is about the “composite view of what people take away from these candidates.” (Wow… talk about dumb things to say. Does the McCain campaign have a book or something?)
Applaud: to great lines from someone in the traditional media… after she was almost buried by a plethora of balloons that had fallen onto the snore-a-palooza’s floor, MSNBC’s Andrea Mitchell ended her segment saying she had been “reporting from the political equivalent of a Chuck E. Cheese, apparently.” (Now it makes perfect sense…)
Heckle: to the fact that Focus on the Fire dumbass James Dobson approves of unmarried teen pregnancy so long as it's between white republican teens… what a tool.
Applaud: to hilarious slips of the tongue. While trying to convince people that McCain won’t be confused with “President” Bush, former Secretary of Homeland Security Tom Ridge did the exact opposite when he called McCain; “John Bush.” (Nice…)
Heckle: to lying liars… Gov. Quayle Palin DID support the bridge to nowhere… anything her or the campaign says otherwise is a flat-out lie.
Applaud: to Jennifer Stockman, co-chair of a conservative organization that supports abortion rights named Republicans For Choice, for saying what all Liberals already knew; McCain doesn’t care about women’s rights… nicely said Ms. Stockman, nice job,
Heckle: to Rep. Charles B. Rangel (D-NY). He’s apparently earned “more than $75,000” of rental income from a villa he owns in the Dominican Republic… problem is he’s never reported it on his federal or state tax returns (oops). He’s going to have to file amendments on any of his tax returns for those years, pay back taxes in New York City and New York state. Having said that, he wont have any federal tax liability.” (Come on Chuck, let’s not act like a republican… we have more than enough of that as it is…)
And this week’s conservative Tool of the Week… in the week that saw a gaggle of conservatives gather for their convention, we have a LOT to choose from. So rather than name every one, we’ll take this route…
After listening to speeches by conservatives this week, I’ve determined that this week’s CTOTW is; All of them.
Whether it be Gov. Quayle and her lying about the bridge to nowhere, or Cindy McCain for her audacity to call the Obama’s elitists while wearing a dress that cost about $300,000… whether it was Rudy Giuliani acting like the spoiled putz we all know he is… whether it was Fred Thompson making us realize how lucky we are that he wasn’t the nominee… whether it was Joe Lieberman who is now politically irrelevant… “President” Bush being ignored – even while he spoke -, whether it was Laura Bush boring the hell out of us… they all deserve it. So congratulations to this week’s TOTW…
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